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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

To Be More

I desire to be more
To stop the crumbling of my soul
This ache of imperfection
Stinging shame of words too harsh,
Heart not soft

I am a mother
Today not the mother I long to be

I wish for softer hands and voice
Deeper breaths of Grace
Falling down on my knees
Receiving strength from Someone stronger

This tense-necked, clenched-jawed, tired Mommy
Wants more
More Hope
For days filled with laughter
To step lighter into my boys lives
Big-eyed, laughing boys
How I long to be more for them
More for me
More for him
More for Him

I must be filled
So that open-armed
I can embrace the tiny lives in my care
Break, stubborn pride
Repentance to a child is humbling

I will be more

I am mother
Tomorrow I will be the mother you need

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Mommy Guilt How do we get away from it? Is it really just moms who experience this lead weight on thier lives?

( I deleted the original body of this post. It wasn't very good. It didn't feel like me. It felt like that shadow of me that lurks around and tries to suffocate life. So it's gone. If you liked it and read it, I'm sorry. You can say so in the comments. But I'd rather be ending in hope and I just kinda fizzled. So in summary..)

I must approach each day with Grace; for myself, my children and my husband. That is how I will avoid Mommy Guilt. 

How do you avoid being trapped in Mommy Guilt?