To Be More

I desire to be more
To stop the crumbling of my soul
This ache of imperfection
Stinging shame of words too harsh,
Heart not soft

I am a mother
Today not the mother I long to be

I wish for softer hands and voice
Deeper breaths of Grace
Falling down on my knees
Receiving strength from Someone stronger
Peace

This tense-necked, clenched-jawed, tired Mommy
Wants more
More Hope
For days filled with laughter
To step lighter into my boys lives
Big-eyed, laughing boys
How I long to be more for them
More for me
More for him
More for Him

I must be filled
So that open-armed
I can embrace the tiny lives in my care
Break, stubborn pride
Repentance to a child is humbling

Tomorrow
I will be more

I am mother
Tomorrow I will be the mother you need