He's not showing any signs of stopping at two and a half!
Oh, it's a roller coaster for me. Some days I'm so grateful that I have this gift to give him and that I get these special moments of quiet with my active, non-stop talking boy. Other days I want to scream every time he asks. Oh how I cringe at just writing that! I know that he is still getting some awesome benefits both health-wise and emotionally. I am still a huge advocate for breastfeeding. But some days I am just DONE. But I'm really not sure I'm done with nursing him or just done being a parent. I don't think I'll have more patience just because he's not nursing. So we are hanging on for now.
I have felt the need to limit him a good bit more. He usually only nurses in the morning and at nap time. Though there are quite a few times he'll ask "Go to bed and nurse?" and then after nursing smile at me and jump out of bed and run downstairs to play again. A few mornings he'll forget to ask right away and ask later once we are downstairs starting our day. I usually say yes. But I have let go of the guilt (or tried to) and I have less hesitation of saying "I'm sorry Boppy, but mommy's nipples are tired right now. We'll nurse later" (Yes he calls them nipples and he is constantly asking to nurse on "the big one") (the big one can change from day to day :)
J has cut his first two teeth at five months old. Ouch.
I must have blocked out R biting because I really have no memory of it. But Daniel insists that it was a problem for a while. I have had a few bad nips lately and my reactions have been less gentle and understanding then I wanted them to be. Oh how this momma needs more patience. Today J bit down and when I unlaced him and said "Ow, that hurts Mommy" he laughed at me! I see how this is going. Oh, but his laugh is beautiful and his smiles warm my heart.
I am struggling with enjoying nursing J as much as I want. Perhaps it is the added complication of tandem nursing. Maybe it's just the novelty has worn off. Oh there are still those wonder moments and the heartbreaking sweetness of being his mother and seeing him settle into sleep clutching my finger or shirt. But then there's those "oh he's growing up moments" where I feel like I didn't really take the time to enjoy his newborn nursing. This morning he was nursing and smacking me enthusiastically on the chest... hard! Daniel was amused... and I laughed a bit too, but I got worried about trying to nurse an older baby and a toddler.
I am thankful to have perspective and to not be as overbearing about how often J "needs" to nurse. He nurses as often as he wants when I'm around. But I have taken a few 4 hour absences over the past few months and he has been content, hungry when I arrive, but content. He also has taken the bottle of expressed milk well. But with my excess lipase I try not to pump that often, it's a lot of work to scald my milk and then never really be sure how it's gonna hold up. It seems it's doing ok. But I'm lucky enough not to need a huge freezer stash.
This is where we are: Content for the moment. I do anticipate gently guiding R towards less nursing over the next 6 months. I don't know how long I will be tandem nursing, but it's going ok so far. The issues that are there seem more like my own issues as a parent and much less about breastfeeding.